On the first day of its release, I went to see Spider-Man 3.
Needless to say, I enjoyed it loads better than the Elephant turd that was ‘Superman Returns’ (see previous review).
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a perfect movie, and there were some things that irked the comic geek in me (i.e.: the organic web spinners rather than the mechanical ones. Mr. Raimi, you missed the point. Peter Parker was a child genius. He created the web-shooters as a spark of genius. His chemical concoction allowed his webs to dissolve within an hour. Who knows how long these organic streamers will last? Plus how can you not know when they work or not? It’s like when you have to take a piss and not know if it’s going to work.
Plus, the costume had raised-rubber webbing. That seemed a little too expensive for a guy who could barely keep a low-paying job. Spandex and silkscreen is just within his budget. Maybe all the money he saved on web chemicals went into his costume?)
Anyways, his nerdiness was the reason why he got picked on in school.
Mr. Raimi also wanted to show more of the Parker vulnerability while he was Spider-man. If that was the case, why give him a mask? Once he puts on the mask, he’s supposed to be a wisecracking extrovert, free and confident, doing all the things he couldn’t say or do as Peter Parker, but then, I guess I’m caught up in the African, Native American and other primitive cultural beliefs that the mask imbues the spirit of what it symbolizes. If I wear the mask of rage, I am no longer myself in a rage mask, but rage personified in a human vessel. |
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It irked the hell out of me when he took the mask off when unnecessary. Today, more people have cameras, much less, camera phones, so why take that chance?
Perhaps it was artistic license, or just the actor’s need to have his face shown, a-la Sylvester Stallone’s ‘Judge Dredd’ or Alec Baldwin’s ‘Shadow’. In the comics and stories, both characters NEVER revealed their faces!
Anyways, Spider-Man 3 was a good movie despite a few technical glitches.
Thomas Hayden Church plays a good Flint Marko/Sandman. The early comics depicted him as a one-dimensional character whose only purpose was to rob banks and hurt people. That Sandman had a cement block for a brain. Church’s motivation was to save his daughter. Bryce Dallas Howard (Daughter of actor/director Ron Howard) played Gwen Stacy, who I always liked better than Mary Jane, and in my opinion was a lot prettier.
Despite the fact that this felt more like a Peter Parker movie than a Spider-man movie, it didn’t disturb me as much as that old ‘Incredible Hulk’ TV show where you only got to see Lou Ferrigno’s Hulk in the last five minutes of an hour long show.
James Franco as Harry Osborne surprised the hell out of me in a good way and I wish I could’ve seen more of him.
Many of the critics had panned this movie because they said it had no plot or some other nonsense. I don’t know what movie they were watching, but it damn sure wasn’t Spider-Man 3. It had more plots and character direction than a British who-done-it, more so than any other typical comic movie. If you’d never read the comic books, you’d have to see the movie 2 or 3 times to piece it together. Most of those critics pan anything that doesn’t have subtitles or crybaby moments with elderly Shakesperean actors doing nothing but talking for 2 hours.
Even George Lucas said something bad in the lines of ‘No plot or substance’ in Spider-Man.
Excuse me Mr. Lucas, but have you tried to watch any of your movies after ‘The Empire Strikes Back’? Revenge of the Jedi was a glorified ‘Carebears’ in Space flick! And don’t get me started on ‘Jar-Jar Binks or the attack of the Clowns!!!”
To those who have the mental capacity of a bowl of cornflakes, The movie take place a few years after the second, where Spider-Man is finally accepted as a hero, despite J. Jonah Jameson’s best efforts to discredit him. J.J. is still obsessed with proving that Spidey is a creep, so he offers anyone a staff job with benefits to any photographer who can come up with a picture proving his claims. In comes Eddie Brock, played by Topher Grace (The kid from ‘That 70’s Show). Peter and his Aunt get a call from police Capt. Stacy that new evidence reveals the real killer of Uncle Ben was a con named Flint Marko, who recently escaped prison. Peter gets all riled and obsessed with getting Marko. While on the run, Marko stumbles into a private lab experiment, which transforms him into the Sandman.
While in a tender moment with Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) they miss the arrival of a meteorite carrying the Venom symbiote, which latches to Pete’s scooter and follows him home. Meanwhile, Harry decides to carry out his father’s wishes to avenge Norman’s death. This leads to a great fight, worthy of epic stature only seen in comic books.
As the story progresses, the symbiote begins to feed and fuel Peter’s aggression making him act out of character. By the time he gets rid of it, he has made more enemies, including the discredited Eddie Brock. The symbiote looking for a host is drawn to Brock. Thus is Venom born. His hatred of Spider-man is far outmatched by his hatred of Peter Parker, and he quickly makes the connection of the two.
Unfortunately, I didn’t see enough of Venom. In the comics, he was just weird, but the movie made him creepy and mysterious. You never got a good look at him and I guess they were trying to achieve a horror-movie feel for him. The CGI (computer generated imaging) seemed out of place and artificial for him, yet I assume it was the contributing factor of his creepiness. Unlike the crappy use in the Halle Berry ‘Scat Woman’ movie, Venom almost had the ethereal movements of a Ray Harryhausen creature.
Generally speaking, Spider-man 3 was a good movie and a good ending of a trilogy/story arc, leaving you wanting more. It ended on a high note and left a few open doors in case they needed to restart the franchise.
The critics were mostly crybaby geezers or snobs who fawn over ‘Pussy’ movies.
If you’re not a geezer or snob, you’ll enjoy Spider-Man 3. But somehow, I suspect that some geezers and snobs secretly liked it too, as a guilty pleasure. We all need a hero, even Geezers and snobs.
Enjoy!
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